---you have a tattoo of a surf industry sticker (for example: the Quiksilver mountain and wave.
---you have matching surf stickers all over your board, but you’re not sponsored.
---you have claimed a maneuver in waves under waist high (claims are sometimes reflex in big surf).
---you gave yourself a nickname like “Shredly” or “The Airman”.
---you continually ask others if they saw your last wave.
---you drop in on other surfers on purpose
---you think that being good at that Kelly Slater video game somehow translates into being a good surfer.
---when watching someone on video straighten out at huge Backdoor, you yell, “What a wuss! I would’ve pulled in.”
---you purposely drop in on other surfers (repeated on purpose).
---you think that anyone who rides a different board (long, short, fun shape, bodyboard) has less of a right to be riding waves than you.
---you actually utter the statement, “I was ripping today.”
---you leave the water for a cigarette.
---you hoot at yourself.
---you think you have the authority to write a list that explains why other people are kooks.
---you wear your rash guard as a regular shirt.
---you broke your board on a hop in knee high wave.
---you have never surfed without a leash.
---You are reading this list.
If you have any suggestions or additions, please e-mail them to surfing@aboutguide.com.
