---you have stickers all over your board, but you’re not sponsored.
---you have claimed a maneuver in waves under waist high.
---you gave yourself a nickname like “Shredder” or “Airman”.
---you continually ask others if they saw your last wave.
---claim that you could surf as well as any pro if you just had good waves to practice in.
---think that being good at that Kelly Slater video game somehow translates into being a good surfer.
---when watching someone on video straighten out at huge Backdoor, you yell, “What a wus! I would’ve pulled in.”
---you purposely drop in on someone in good surf.
---think that anyone who rides a different board (long, short, fun shape, boogie board) has less of a right to be riding waves than you.
---actually utter the statement, “I was ripping today.”
---when the waves are good, you leave the water for a cigarette.
---you hoot at yourself.
---your nickname is “Flappy” or something similar.
---you think you have the authority to write a list that explains why other people are kooks.
---you wear your rash guard as a regular shirt.
---you broke your board hopping across the face of a knee high wave.
---you have never surfed without a leash.
---You are reading this list.
If you have any suggestions or additions, please e-mail them to surfing@about.com.
